013. Reflection

As an English Education major, my goal in life is to teach high school English and one day also publish a memoir of my life or maybe just an autobiography. Having graduated high school in 2003, I should have taken this class in my 8 years of community college, but I never found a good enough instructor to take it with.

Fast forwarding to 2012, I have found a great professor in Jamie Stock. Using her guidance and suggestions, I have become a better writer than I was before 214. My process as a writer has changed dramatically. I used to write a linear essay, and after having finished, gone back and revised part by part. I never thought of the essay as a "whole" entity. I now have a much better method of writing that I will be able to apply to the rest of my work here at the university and eventually in my own personal literary life.

I did not enjoy "food" as a theme of the class at first, because it's too vague of a topic and vegetarianism is something that does not interest me very much. Having finished the class and written countless blog posts and academic essays on the subject, I have grown to like the topic and at the very least, feel more educated on the idea of food and vegetarianism. Using blog posts is a great idea, because the informality of the writing was great but I also wanted to write better as we were given gradually tougher topics. I thoroughly enjoyed blog posts.

I'm going to take pretty much everything I learned in 214 and apply it to the rest of my career as an English major. In most of the classes I have, writing is a primary method of learning and it is something you've never quite "done" with. Next semester, in the Fall, I will be taking the 480 GWAR class, which will be a lot of writing and a sort of sequel to 214. I feel very confident that I will succeed in the GWAR class and pass without a problem, due to the amount of writing and confidence I have from this class.

My final thought would be that I came into this class thinking I was a good writer, but I came out knowing that I am a great writer. I also now know that the potential to write even better and better is just a few keystrokes away. I'm happy with my progress in my writing, and I'm more enthusiastic about the fact that I have mastered the arts of research, exploration, and overall diction. I'm excited to see what's next for myself as a writer.

012. Final Portfolio Post

Here are my revised essays for ENG214 with Jamie Stock-Joseph, for Spring 2012. First is my Final Essay, written on the topic of Incest, inspired by the novel Push by Sapphire, followed by my midterm essay, written in response to our class reading of Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran-Foer.

Final (Revised) Essay

The Uneducation of Incest
http://goo.gl/YQ0YN

Midterm (Revised) Essay

The Animals Have Been Eaten
http://goo.gl/x21O3

011. Research On The Topic Of Incest

Sapphire. Push. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 1996. Print.

    A fantastic short novel on the subject of a young woman in Harlem, New York City struggling with sexual abuse from her father, weight and image issues, illiteracy, and an abusive mother who doesn't help her care for her two children, birthed from the sexual abuse by her father. An intriguing look at what it means to be African-American in Harlem, NYC in the 1980's and how friends and literacy can pull someone out of the darkest of times. It is a coming-of-age novel that showcases the worst sides of humanity and the evil that some human beings exhibit.

Breau, Elizabeth. "Teaching Rape and Incest." Third Space. Nov. 2003. Web. Apr. 2012. <http://www.thirdspace.ca/journal/article/viewArticle/breau/166>.

    An intense look at one woman's struggles with going to college after being a victim of incest and rape. Wonderfully written and given multiple perspectives and multiple sources. Calling upon personal research, personal experience, and even advice and knowledge from others, a great piece is written for a feminist publication that really shows the empowering nature of women and their ability to overcome even the most evil and sadistic of lives.

Nin, Anaïs. Incest: From A Journal of Love : The Unexpurgated Diary of Anaïs Nin, 1932-1934. New York: Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, 1992. Print.

    One woman's diary and journal of events that happened after she reunites with her father after he walked out on her over 20 years ago. Showing a different side of incest, she paints a brighter scene than most have in the past - showing the love and affection that she believes has gone into the experience with her father. With the aid of a therapist, she decides to work through her struggles and turn them into accomplishments. It's definitely a different view on incest and rape than others out there, but it is beautifully put together and the words and images conveyed are received the way the author intends them to.

010. Staying Afloat

  The worst of the worst has happened to Claireece "Precious" Jones. She's undergone years of rape and incest through her father, Carl - all while her mom watched in the background. Precious gives birth to two children, both of whom have been conceived by her father. Her first, Mongo - short for "mongoloid", has down's syndrome and is shunned by everyone, including Precious' mom. After the birth of her second child, the healthy Abdul, Precious is notified that she has contracted the AIDS virus through her father, but her two children do not have it. Concluding a few years that are arguably the worst years one human has to endure, Precious struggles with her own literacy and weight. With every outside factor working against her, Precious Jones avoids attempting suicide through the friendships and bonds she makes with her schoolmates, and falls in love with reading and writing.

    Throughout the novel, Precious contemplates suicide multiple times. Thankfully, it never becomes more than a passing thought. The future of her children are always at the forefront of her mind and her drive and motivation to continue her schoolwork end up becoming the defining factors in keeping Precious alive and away from suicide. Through her multiple fantasies, involving a "dream boyfriend", food supplies that flow for days, and freedom from her overbearing and abusive mother, Precious finds solace in making these fantasies a reality - thanks to her school teacher "Miz Rain" and her social worker that takes up her case. 

    Reading "Push" and engrossing yourself in Precious' problems really make your every day problems seem minimal in retrospect. The author, Sapphire, has gone to state that this character is not a true story, but is merely based on a true story of a young woman she met while teaching in Harlem. To try to understand and comprehend that something of this magnitude has actually happened to someone, as well as continues to happen in our country today, is a travesty. How do these women stay alive? What is stopping them from committing suicide in hopes of ending the every day pain and suffering? In Precious' case, her friendships are so powerful that they literally keep her alive. The love of reading and writing ultimately consumes Precious and takes over her every emotion once she realizes the power of creativity.

009. Pre-Writing

Step 1: Explanation of Pre-Writing Steps

    Typically, before I start a paper, I tend to pre-write in the form of an outline. This is probably because all throughout middle school and high school, my writing career was littered with requirements to use an outline before writing and doing anything. So, I'll try and set up my introductory paragraph, my conclusion and then outline how many paragraphs and how many main key points and thoughts I want to do for the paper. I'll also set up my thesis, and make a rough draft of my introductory paragraph up front. Sometimes, depending on how comfortable I am with the prompt and the material itself, I'll even write the conclusion to give me an end point to the paper. 

Step 2: Developing A Pre-Writing Plan

    I usually set up my writing on a scratch piece of paper and kind of visualize it and what it might look like. In terms of paragraphs and openers and closers, I like to see the visual format of the paper and use "lorem ipsum" placeholder text to see what it might look like. After that, I start plugging in some pre-writing to get a good idea of what exactly it looks like. After figuring out my thesis and my body content, if I feel comfortable enough with the paper, I decide to go forward. 

Step 3: Reflecting On The Effectiveness Of My Pre-Writing

    After pre-writing, I usually tend to gauge just how effective the topic is and the content. If I'm satisfied, I move on through the actual writing process. During writing, I like to think back on pre-writing and see if I missed anything that I decided to do during pre-writing, that didn't make its way into the paper itself. More often that not, things that were decided on and agreed upon during pre-writing make it to the paper but there are always nuggets of content and ideas that slip through the cracks. Pre-writing is the best way to remember those pieces and place them in the final paper.

008. Carl

    Push by Sapphire is a phenomenal novel, but isn't without its problematic text. The style is unique and at times difficult to follow, but when the mentions of incest between Precious and her father are known, one may be turned off by it immediately. Incest is such a taboo topic in our society, not to mention its illegality. To find out that the main character of a fiction novel is not only involved in incest with her father, but to find out she contracts AIDS and has two children from her own father is a deep and riveting thing to realize. The book is so hard to digest, that at times it feels like it's some sort of test to see if you can make it all the way through. Not many things or people deal with incest in today's media (books, TV, movies, video games) but it is so well implemented into the story of Push that it might feel blasphemous to ask, "Why don't we see more stories with incest involved?"

    The short and obvious answer is that it's "not right". The topic itself is extremely taboo in our culture and the word itself is frowned upon by others when used. Thinking critically about the novel, however, brings to light the idea and analysis if implementing incest in to the novel was right or warranted. So, was it right? Probably not. Did it work? Yeah, to some extent. The most important question to ask yourself is if it made the novel better. I, as taboo as it may seem, think it added a new layer of realism to the book and immediately sold you on the character of Precious. If you didn't feel sorry for her or even feel for her by the time you realized what was going on, the full realization of the incest going on and the two children fathered by Carl, might swing you to fall in love with Precious and root for her more so than ever before.

    Sapphire uses incest in a taboo way, but a necessary one. The topic makes Precious a gripping novel and adds to the staying power that the novel has in your head. Am I advertising incest and saying we should talk about it more and implement it in every form of media? No way. But, carefully exploring and critically analyzing incest in an artful way is something that takes careful precision and practice to achieve a positive result - the same way that Sapphire did with Push.

007. Precious, Precious Literacy

  Literacy is a powerful thing. In Push, we hear a story of a very illiterate high school girl not only struggling with her own reading and writing skills, but struggling with depression, lack of motivation and just all around poor self-confidence. The book strikes it home when you see samples of her writing throughout the text, but none is more apparent than the samples at the back of the book where you really see how much Precious is struggling to figure out how to write and coherently put words together into sentences. It's a gripping read, and although I'm only partially through the novel, you really start to appreciate how much your schooling has benefited you over the years.

    "Are we ever going to need to know this in the real world?" A question that many high school students, including myself, would constantly spout at our teachers growing up. It was most common in math class where even the most remedial yet complicated theories were tested and questioned by students. Even though we were learning, arguably one of the most important disciplines in fact, we questioned its usefulness and subsequent purpose. We thought we were getting our time wasted, and most students figured it'd be more simple just to play video games all day or go play sports. This is in stark contrast to the college setting, where we don't take our literacy for granted. In fact, we're paying copious amounts of money just to stay afloat and continue our quest in the elusive "higher education" realm.

    Precious understands why she's in school - well, sort of - and wants to make better of herself. But, it isn't until Ms. Rain (aptly named Miz Rain by precious herself) that Precious takes an increased interest in her studies and begins to truly believe in herself; however, she doesn't get very far. Crippled by her lack of understanding common things and her sexual abuse from her father, Precious is in a constant vicious cycle and not really going anywhere. Literacy is one of Precious' biggest hurdles to overcome, and if it wasn't for Ms. Rain it would be hard to see where she would be. Thankfully, the novel takes us in the "happy ending" direction as the novel draws on and despite the problems and issues, Precious starts to overcome.

    Overcoming our biggest hurdles in life - whether it be literacy, self-esteem issues or simply just not being happy - are paramount, but to get over these hurdles, we must first acquire the tools and confidence to even begin that first jump. Being literate and educated is the catalyst to getting over the biggest problems and most difficult moments in life. Having that edge of education is one that you never want to lose sight of. Most jobs in America now require "continued education" which helps those of us that may already be "fully educated" to never stop learning. Because, as we know, you can never stop learning.